I know, I know. Ick right? Who wants to talk about being vulnerable? Who wants to feel vulnerable? What does vulnerability ever do for you except make you feel bad? We take pride in knowing we don’t need anyone to help us. We suck it up knowing that it gives us strength. It gives us a rush of cortisol, the stress hormone, when we keep it to ourselves and that makes us feel good too.
Vulnerability on the other hand, sucks. It leaves us raw and open to pain from someone else. We would rather be stoic, keep it to ourselves, self-controlled, etc. We hold onto our pain or joy as if it will be diminished if it is shared. We hold onto it believing it gives us strength and power.
How many times have you said or heard it said that, “She never complains, she is so strong”, “I don’t know how she does it, with all the pain she just sucks it up and gets it done”. I’m sure you’ve heard this or something like it, maybe today. Maybe even about yourself.
What does it cost you to stay composed and uncomplaining? Stepping forward in your own life. Being the heroine in your story. The deep and abiding relationships you so desire. The true intimacy of your ideal relationship. Honestly connecting with friends, family, business associates, clients and even your children.
Sharing is great and can lead to real conversations and real vulnerability. But a share can be a share can be a share. I’m sharing with you right here, right now. Is that vulnerable? Nope. This is.
I pray to Goddess all day, every day to guide me and bring me along the path that I am meant to walk. I ask for her to help me walk my talk and to hear her messages to me as I go through my day. I pray that she will help me say the things I need to say, to speak my truth and share it with others so that they may see a different perspective and open up their own lives in a way that helps them to be their highest and best.
I’m not a big one for sharing my personal beliefs but I am willing to share with all of you. You know something intimate about me now that you didn’t know 5 minutes ago. It brought you closer to me, bothered you or intrigued you. You agreed or disagreed but in some way, you made a connection with me that you didn’t have before.
To go even deeper, I have one more:
I fear that I will never be satisfied with what I have and will always strive for more in constant search of “better”. I fear that my need for more/better will damage my relationship with my man because he will come to believe that he cannot truly make me happy because I cannot be satisfied in our lives together.
Whew. That one was rough. That is a big fear for me and a main driving force behind so much of what I do. Being better than the me I am right this moment, plus, keeping my relationship balanced, happy and always growing together.
Here is the big question though, can you relate? Sure you can. You connected with me on a deep level. You can feel my fear, my need and my desire for what? I won’t answer that question, that one is for you to figure out. This is a way for you to connect with me and share in a real piece of me.
What you create by being vulnerable is a foundation of trust. You make a safe space for the vulnerability to continue, on both sides of the relationship. It breeds a level of intimacy we are all so desperately trying to connect to in our lives.
The rule of business has always been to not show your true feelings, to never let them see you flinch/sweat. That is the masculine way of doing business. The competitive model that has been in effect for millennia and couldn’t be further away from who women are. The time has come for all of us to explore, as women, what it means to step into our own femininity by being vulnerable when we least feel like it. In business.